Her Tale: Unspoken experiences

Her Tale: Unspoken experiences

While walking by the roadside on my way from office, I notice him continuously staring at me.  And his stare is not unknown though he is a stranger; I face a lot of stares on me from various guys out in this society.  Those stares are too mysterious. Their stares upon me sometimes fill me with shame, I try my best to act as if I never saw them staring upon me. Further, I think I deserve the award for best actress for acting out so wise. But the fact is these men never stared at me rather, they stared at the piece of flesh attached to my body; my chest, my breast.

So, today also I find a similar stare upon my piece of flesh, my breast from him. His eyes were gazing upon it without even a blink. He has no fear of being caught.  I felt like my breasts were put for an auction and he was one of a person in crowd; who was being entertained from the show.  Yes, I felt Insecure, I felt pain, as if I was being raped; raped with his eyes but it doesn’t make any concern to him.  Every time, I want to question him, but I can’t.  I wish to shout at him yelling watch your eyes off Mr. I wish to ask him if the  extra-stuffed  piece of flesh attached to my chest are entertaining him well or not? If it’s not then I want to shout at him why are you staring to my property watch your way and move.  

When I notice him staring to my chest, I came-up with tons of ideas in my mind. While, my heart throbs and I feel like I am being punished for having these breast. I don’t feel good when they look at my breast as if I am a criminal hiding golds or diamond inside these pooped flesh. Each time, they give a mysterious look over my breast, these pieces of flesh; I want to shout at him with the heaviest pitch of my voice yet some unseen barriers stop me. And within a cold space in me, I suffer. But a thought amuses me thinking he must be curious on how my chest expanded without losing sweat in the gym, because I have heard from many of the guys that for their expanded chest they spend hours in gym. So, I think he stares to my expanded chest because he must be thinking how I achieved it without even working out at gym like he does! And these thoughts are just to console my heart, further I console myself in my imaginative world. The world where I shall make him realize of how I felt when he used to glance at my flesh so mysteriously. If only I could, I would have made him wake up with same amount of flesh attached to his chest. I would make sure he gets same glances over his chest from all the girls he passes by. Then I don’t think he would feel the same way as I do. He is a man so he would describe it in terms of may be somehow a bravery.  And the fact is I cannot make him be so or understand how I feel.

I can never make him feel the way I do over their each glance over my breast. I cannot explain them how humiliating it feels. Furthermore, I feel ashamed to hear your indirect comments over the size of my breast. Sometimes I feel to cut them off and hand it over to you guys to make sure you get clearer visions of the thing I carried under my clothes.

"And I know, I here is not just me, I  represent every girl who goes through such stares to her office, her way back home, her college. And I understand it’s damn hard to explain how their stare silently throbs. We don’t find how to explain the situation and problem we bear. I understand we are ashamed to talk on this problem.  But not talking over the issue is making the issue more sever."