Do I Love You??

Do I Love You???

Actually it's not really difficult to write about love. I've seen couples saying the same thing over and over for so many years. So I feel; it depends on how honest it is and how good one make themselves up to other. You can say 'I love you' in a trillion ways, and it can always sound different or feel different.

But today I realized it's not easy to sit down and open yourself up and say, 'This is how much I love you or something.’ Gosh! This crap is much more difficult, you know? It's scary to do that. It’s even scary when you excitedly plan a date and when you are onto it becomes difficult for you to open up. So far in this world I was not dying to hear you say, 'I love you. Or I love you, too' But I do think that if we leave this legacy of love and passion in the world, then I think we've done our job in a world that's getting colder and colder by the day. But life would turn out to be a regret if I don’t share you of those feelings too. Yes! It would be the regret of my life that I had not said 'I love you' for today, tomorrow or often enough.

Well, well there is no stress on or about dating necessarily but even though the excitements and anticipations and new feelings could be a bit overwhelming and making relationships’ filled with stress and all. Sticking with a wrong fellow could also be a nightmare when it comes to a relationship.

Hmm, I realized; to say 'I love you' one must first be able to say the 'I'. Therefore I will be looking forward to be the I in every twists and turns. Expecting you to be “You” at all the destinations we plan for.

I Miss You!!!

I Miss You!!!

Honestly, I can't forget the times we've shared together. The sadness and the happiness, the failure and success, the simple hugs and those tender stories of yours. I miss you and that is why during nights as I gaze upon the stars. I miss you during the day as clouds cover the sun. I miss you for every hardship that hits me for all the unspoken feelings that I hold inside me. That’s where I want to hold you in my arms. I miss your smile, your joy, your lips; in real I miss myself who stayed 8 years back waiting for you in that room.  I wish for you to be here, in those loneliness and grips. These painful longings and penetrations; I feel in my heart very deep.  As these 8 years has passed very slow to me. My soul cries out for you more and more strongly. I have been yearning the day to be together once more. But the fact is that day is never possible.

 

When you looked after me I felt like nothing came up to bothering me but once you look away. I could not even see you at your last minutes.  With the news that hit my ears: tear slowly started rolling down my cheek and I whispered: they are lying. Everyone told me, “You are now miles apart, so I just have to control my feelings and accepting the reality that you are no more” But to me it was really hard. I never saw you passing away or anything before my eyes to accept; you left me behind. Just hearing you stopped breathing was not acceptable to me, hearing on how your funeral rituals were carried out was a story to me that still today my heart aches so much. Still my heart don’t feel to accept you are no more. Actually my heart could not find rest when you were gone. Everything in my life had lost its colour as you were gone. To me I completely lost my family and a friend and a mother figure. “I miss you” in short just feels it won’t restore what I really felt then.

 

But in this 8 years I have missed you for anything that really good happens in this life, because you are the one who cherished my success. So I want to share all the happy moments you missed each single thing each single bit and lines from the part of my happiness. The reason I want to make it upto you is my heart says, “it was only you to whom my happiness mattered.” I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. You always were my protector. I miss you when I laugh or I cry. This is all because I know that you were the only one that cared from my laughter grew to my tears disappeared. I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life. Your silly brat has really grown insomniac in those 8 years as no one tells me wonderful bedtime tales like you did. Except you nobody cared.