Loneliness

Loneliness might not be something that he felt when I was not around. Loneliness might not be what he went through when I broke-up with him. It might just be about how he acted in his life; of being happy, or being normal without me.
The true loneliness might also be the feeling which one experienced since childhood. It could be the feeling of having nobody by your side when you needed the most. Loneliness is the feeling which kills you after you lose your soul completely. While true loneliness is the situation when you pretend to be happy and explain the world around you; you are enjoying a complete life.
Loneliness is to share your feelings of extreme happiness and extreme coldness with your pillow rather than the world around you.

You understand that the world around is too busy to have their valuable time to celebrate in your joyful occasions. While no one could manage time to help you shot your problems in hardship of life. Loneliness is the feeling of fear, and pain that you never expressed to anyone around you.
And after redefining the loneliness for time and again, 2 years of our relation and the 10 month of your suffering after our break-up feels like nothing to me. You said,” You are the cold person who never cared about your feelings and sentiments. Because of you my life god destroyed. I find myself alone, I cannot sleep all nights, and this is all because of you. It is all, just because of you.” After hearing you, I still don’t feel anything. I don’t feel sorry for what I did to you in 10 months without being reasonable. I don’t feel sorry for leaving you. But I find myself sorry for letting you know who I actually am. You said I killed your soul, and washed away all your happiness from life. But I am glad that, you were never killed by the force that compelled you t get addicted to the sleeping-pills; to forget your pains like I did. I am glad that you never had to count the stars to forget pain in your loneliness. I am glad that you never encountered the darkest night like I did and you even didn’t hear any of the loudest thunders at your weakest point.
To you I am the one who destroyed your life and you in the name of love. To me I am the person who cannot express; myself the way I am. I am vulnerable, while only little saw me in that stage. I do cry, and few wiped out tears from my beautiful adorable eyes. The one who said my lips adored them, only few could read the unuttered loneliness from them. And it saddens that you could not get the pain I uttered from my lips.
At the end I would like you to compere the loneliness; the 10 months you suffered because of me and the 20 years I discovered under the sky among number of people around me. Which would score high do you think? I guess it would be a tie: yet I am not sorry to you because I want to drag all the love from your heart out. So that someone else could get better life and a pre soulmate in you. At the end the cold heart of mine would like to tell you that I loved you with the
bottom of my heart but the unspoken things from my lips are the lines that act as a boundary to my love. And in the next row, you cannot read those lips without I make them to you. So better I be a cold self-centered person… So may be, loneliness is the shadow of love; I could not trail enough.