Lots and lots of struggle stories
I heard. Amongst all the most favorite and motivational story to me comes from
within my home. Yeah! I love my parents struggle story because it's what I
could closely observe and feel. Because I watched them making that small space
into "Home" designed and decorated by love, affection, care and most
importantly STRUGGLE. I grew up
watching my parents struggle for my happiness and career and good future of our
family. I always found my mom as a gracious Tigress while Dad as a Mighty Lion:
who paced my future with their eternal effort. I am so lucky to have a parents
like them while hearing and observing their struggle story for our family makes
me proud. their story gives a different satisfaction and gleam full of
motivation. It brings a warm positive vibrations to all my cells. May be that's
why I always want to have my own struggle story so that someday my story can
vibrate some other cells nearby...
A jolly personality with an
unpredictable nature who likes exploring and experimenting along a heart that
always longs for more and more: that's me. So now yes, I will be working onto a
struggle for life but the question was "How"? Personally I am a person with series of questions and
when I continue asking questions to the people, they get mad at me. That's how
I am! But relief is, I always question selective people. Hmm, when it comes to
question? I do remember mind boggling crazy thoughts on my mind. I do remember the
tricky questions answers that I used to fill under my academics like,
"what if next morning you wake up and found yourself of opposite sex? or
you met an alien? or you reached a different planet or country? or
xyz..." So here comes my answer for
how. The answer is "I will start my struggle story from a may be slightly
different space. So all I have to do is begin the start of my career from a slightly different space." But the
misery is where is that different space that's will help me shape professional?
So for Professionalism: I should
drop the stuff that makes me unprofessional at first point. May be first thing
onto the top list could be Time Management, anger control, patience. I need to
manage my TAP first; Time, Anger and Patience. Then utmost important is I am
getting used to too mush easy access to comforts and services; maybe I should
give that up too. Another key element that I need is to convert my weakness
into strength for professionalism. For me family plays both strength and
weakness at the same time, because their support makes me complete while I
relay too much on them and that's kind of weakness. I have depended too much on
them even for small problems. So now I want to long for destinations and stories of my own... Some independent walks of my own that shall mend me stronger.
But before that I must thank that one special human being to whom I spent all my energy for a wrong person. Thanks to the betrayal that he returned in favor that made my decision for independent journey a bit easier... You had had been my weakness for all the time; now that you stepped back my decision got easier. But I know at some point walking away from family is going to be difficult.
While I never realized bagpacks hurt. I wanted to convince myself that I carried enough memories with me for a year. I know it is going to be hard to say goodbye yet, new things are awaiting to say hello there... But Saying goodbye actually was too hard. I wanted to quit my decision at the last moment yet I couldn't... I couldn't because I knew I would have made the goodbye even more harder, if I always keep changing my decisions.
But before, 25th November would have been a casual day for others yet to me it was it was special because dream to roll for Karnali is about to start. I remember the way how my eyes remained full of tears and face reddened with a manipulative smile. I remember growing speechless and trying to change the conversations inbetween when they watched me go. As my car moved on and they stayed there watching me... I going to miss you Family.
