COVID-19 and the government response Nepal

Nepalese understand that Nepal is a poor country and we don't have enough budget and resources of our own or create the ventilators and mechanism  to treat the COVID-19 patients. While on the next hand my government is rich enough to separate the budget of 6.5 billion to purchase the vehicles for respectable's.

Dear government, the only greatest effort from your side during the COVID-19 pandemic is the months of lockdown and more lockdown. Many places lack the PCR tests and RDT tests. Dear government thank you for being so irresponsible during the pandemic. But incase I get to be infected with COVID-19, I will be responsible enough to make sure I don't be any medium to transmit COVID-19 in my community and family. While I would think many more times if I get an opportunity I will surely transmit the Corona virus to those irresponsible heads from the government. I would feel glad if few of them actually end themselves (those who are neglecting the crisis and prioritizing the service and those luxurious vehicles) due to Corona virus.

The reason I am saying this is, in other nations the government is trying to fetch more practical and possible solutions to tackle and control Corona virus. They are trying to save their best doctors, nurses, teachers, scientists, engineer, etc. along their citizens. While in my country citizens are still helpless to stay home. Country's economy is sarcastically falling down.Dear government, what about the country's resilience? When will we be resilient?? When will things go back to normal. Even the results of the tests are verified and testified only after the death of any individual. My dear government why so much of irresponsible-ness?? Why can't Nepalese enjoy the legacy of democratic republic as we have been paying you the tax on time. During this pandemic, we expected the the government to use of our taxes for the betterment of people and the country while fighting COVID-19. But you truly disappointed us; deciding to invest it upon the luxurious vehicles. Dear government who will ride those vehicles, as you will be extending the lockdown time and again. 

What Counts as me? : Soul of desire, dreams and longings

What counts as me???

Failing to find life in physical self;

May I drive towards the unseen soul?

But what includes in the soul:

Is it the emotional and the intellectual vibration?

May be I seek to look after waves to awaken me from within. 

But will the waves include my desire, dreams and longings? 

Following myself selflessly, I see a bigger picture.

Somewhere I dream to be free.

Free as bird, free as butterfly,,,

Somewhere I want to be steady.

Steady as mountains or those rocks,,,

Some how all I want is to explore! 

Explore within myself, Explore beyond myself!!! 

But where will my exploration lead? Puts me in dilemma!

For all I have dreamt of are the moments I shall cherish.

Cherish all my life from nature along my nurture! That's it!

I wanna gaze the gradual warmth of rising sun;

Even the cooling breeze of brightest moon.

Follow the streaming river unless the meet the silent sea.

Drool through the hottest Ray's of desert to chilling on the lea.

Wish to listen to the surrounding; in it's happiest and in its saddest,

Wish to enjoy the magnificent gleam of sunshine in my gladdest.

Never know what awaits the next, But all I long for is to travel!

Just to find out, "What counts as me?"

For all; I want to find myself in my soul of desire, dream  and longings!

---

What counts as me???

What shall a life brought to be?

What shall a life brought to be??

To be me??? To be me???

Is it my soul? Or my body?

Where does the life in me lies!

If it's the soul: why did i never saw it?

If it's the body; Which part??

What counts as me! Which part counts as me??

Which part does my life lies???

Is it the eye or the ears...?

One saw, one heard; it's their function. 

It's their function. Not my life!

Could it be the heart, mind or the mouth?

One's beat keeps me alive,

One's thought marks me intellectual,

While one's words explains my persistence!

in between, where do I count my life?

What shall a life brought to be? 

No clue I am so not happy, staying still.

Shall my soul know? What truly counts?

Counts as happiness, luxury, living: Or 

Or should I say, What counts as me. 

What counts as me???

Spring filled with love will surely find me again

Turning into frozen soul there's no sense of warm feeling at all

My breaths have now turned cold as despair has actually throbbed a lot

All those faith and belief of mine withered as my heart is broken

Collapsed being your pawn; wounded with your cheats and frauds...

Haunted with dreams and regrets for the countless memories of ours 

My eyes are hurt with incomplete dreams of our memories and those plans

Eyes filled with tears, hopelessness and senselessness filled with despair

Lips left with the unuttered betrayal that ain't caressed at all

Seems my body can hardly stand on its won... I feel to seek support!

From nowhere! 
Yet, from nowhere;I  believe 
"spring filled with love will surely find me again."

Cheers to the fool✌🏼

World is filled around with fools and with the ones who love to laugh at fools. Sometimes you feel you are smart cause you tricked them so easily. Sometimes you get angry realizing you are mocked. In this race may be I even forgot I wasn't the one fooling others, rather I was fooling myself. But fooling isn't easy finding and calculating excuses to mark yourself correct is actually so difficult. 

"I am fine" the sweetest word that I excused to comfort myself and people around; even when I was extremely not fine. I don't know who I fooled there; world or myself. Well, excusing the world around us easier: just stare straight into the eyes and speak up... May be it's easier than to excuse inner self! For me it was difficult. Because people around said m stronger than others I helped myself alot to get stronger. While in the race to be strong I never understood how strong they expected me to be?? Or what kind of strong; physical or mental??? I always took it  being mentally strong. So I kept all the feelings in self. Yes to the world I am an extrovert who enjoys in myself: and yes, I am also the introvert who has died inside restoring all the emotions inside. Clueless of what rating would I get on being this strong! All I know is I was fooling myself for a better good may be. 

The best in me came while loving him... May be the finest of all, I never thought simple flirts would matchup so high hitting an extra dose of feelings for him. And there I fell for him, I was madly in love with him. But for a cause I wanted to stay strong so I insisted staying over my ego to relationship. The simpler excuse to me was sticking to my words than love for him. Yes, I fooled my feelings over attitude, I know I am a strong woman love can't take walk over me after all love is simply an illusion. I lasted up believing love is something that can't touch me. In the race of being untouched to love I Failed myself. Once again someone blew the magical moment and I was taken. Navie self of me melted over the illusion of love, I started to love him more, and believe him more than myself may be. But here with the fear of being hurt I could never honestly express the feeling for him. May be insecurities drives me more. But he endured it, I defeated all of it gradually. Should I call it luck or fortune all of a sudden his interest in my switched. To him someone else's arms were more comfortable. No strong girl like me can't fade like this, many more glory will be waiting for me. Let's just move on by let going. The only words my inner self could console with while it even knew I can't because am hurt. But for the world I stood up cheerful and happy. Congratulations, girls you are winning this despite you are hurt somewhere inside; world finds you a jolly character. Once again you fooled yourself and people around damn well.

Hollowness inside does kills yet you are breathing happily makes the world feel jealous of your living; aye aye you are fooling everyone quiet well. Hiding your weakness and shining with the confidence in the front row. You are killing it cause people dream for this confidence and you have it. Well not bad at this point as well. Someday success will be in your coat, the world around will expect for you to share your secret for success. Then don't explain them the countless fear that you went along, don't ever mention you how low you felt. While never detail them on the ways that helped you to boost your self-esteem higher. Just keep up fooling yourself because the world believes your intelligence even more than you. And say love the fool in you and cheers to the fools who trusted you.
P.S.: April Fool or everyday Fool✌🏼😂😜
If someone is reading it welcome dear fool😘😝😜😂✌🏼 

I Failed to stop loving you

I Failed to stop loving you

Somewhere I want to thank the incomplete journey we walked with each other; though incomplete yours and mine story has atleast make us complete in a different way. If I have to define our relationship, "it would be the journey that I never owned or I should say I felt a pain while loving you. That pain stopped me to meet the pleasure, I couldn't no longer find myself special into your arms. May be that's why I wanted to stop, I felt to stop loving you." Stop loving you, wasn't that easy. I failed to erase the love for you. I always realized having infinite feelings for you. It could be because I might have grown used to: used to the pains that you gave. May be I loved you for those pains as well that my feelings never turned into hate.

It was me who wanted to stop loving you. And I failed! Yes, I failed to stop loving you. Feelings inside me started to grow from the exact moment where I decided to stop. I wanted to hate you yet failed, rather I found myself falling head over heels for you. And then I realized may be giving up over all the egos and attitude might help resolving our relationship. First time I wanted to step up to save my relationship with you. I wanted to hold onto you and I as we...

May be I was little late. Or may be you were too tired waiting for me to realize our problems and fetch solutions. You had had given up on it. You and I as we, we could never fetch the courage to strengthen our relationship and we kept on losing. We kept on losing our bond, trust, love and may be us behind our egos and attitude. Somewhere we loved each other, we felt for each other. But we failed to protect our relationship.

The only thing I have for you now is let's not give up on our friendship. I have missed you so much. These eyes especially has missed you so badly. But circumstances has made it way difficult for me to ask or explain for friendship to you. I have no clue who should be sorry for letting go our relationship. While I am sorry I couldn't save it for us.

Escape from the Loneliness

Escape from the Loneliness

Love, you can't fetch love for anyone.

Nor can you deny when you start to feel for them.

Love, it just comes invitable; no clue where it comes from.

Yet, lovers say, "it's heart the only source"

Some say it comes along the soul..

While in world where feelings has lost it's worth.

May be sources for love dried up,

Such that one hardly feels love.

And for those who easily fall; it was just an escape.

Escape from the loneliness